Lesbian Mom Takes Own Life After Losing Custody Battle

3 Jan

A heartbreaking story today about a lesbian mother who has taken her own life because of a custody dispute over her son.

Debie Hackett and her son, from her facebook profile.

The news comes from the Dallas Voice, which had covered the legal battle this summer. In July, Debie Hackett had sued her former partner and the biological mother of their child, Kim Ferris for proper visitation rights with their son. Debie won in an appeals court and the case was remanded to a lower court, where this past month, Debie lost. To explain further: the appeals’ court ruling did not grant Debie visitation, but did allow for the case to continue and not be dismissed as Ferris had hoped.

On Christmas Eve, distraught by the fact that she could may possibly never see her child again, Debie took her own life. The Dallas Voice asks: “Could interpretation of laws to discount a same-sex relationship be the underlying cause of this needless death?”

A sad story to start of 2011, but will hopefully ignite some fire in us to continue creating the change we so desperately need.



9 Responses to “Lesbian Mom Takes Own Life After Losing Custody Battle”

  1. mistah charley, ph.d. January 4, 2011 at 11:33 am #

    I can see how some might blame the court – but what about the role of the former partner? She could have agreed to visitation rights, but she did not.

  2. Anonymous January 7, 2011 at 1:48 am #

    The former partner is a horrible woman. Debie would have been happy to have had even supervised visitation. Kimberly Ferris used the laws that exclude protection to the children and non-bio parents of the LGBT community to her benefit, to keep the child away from his other mother. Debie was abused in the relationship my Ferris and once it finally crumbled continue to torture Debie via not allowing any contact with their child. Please do all that you can to support non-bio parents and the children stuck in these devastating situations!!

  3. Lorna Doone January 7, 2011 at 10:59 pm #

    Kim Ferris did what she did, in the best interest of the child. Debie Hackett was mentally ill. She was a sexual predator. Debie Hackett, by her own admission, enjoyed seducing newcomers (the younger, the better). I witnessed her going after other women’s wives or girlfriends. It was her sexual addiction and behavior that led to this mess in the first place. Debie could not accept the fact, that she had been beaten at her own game. Debie didn’t need that child, it was all about power and control.
    Debie had another wife with another child in another city that she was still being intimate with right up til the end.
    Kimberley’s child is much better off without Debie Hackett. It’s unfortunate that Debie’s only solution was to act out in spite and revenge by comitting suicide.

    • kathleen May 18, 2011 at 9:32 pm #

      Debie Hackett saved my life. When I was 17, scared, and all but dead, she nursed me back to health and stayed my friend and sponsor for many years. Never in all those years did I ever witness her being anything but genius with young people like myself. Did she have sex problems? Yes, perhaps. But she was the first person I would have come to in the event that my own child were in need of a safe, loving support. My only regret is that I grew away from Debie as I became more and more successful in my adulthood and farther and farther away from the child she helped to raise. She did a great job with me- faulted and lovable as she was.

  4. A friend January 8, 2011 at 3:00 am #

    If Debie was mentally ill, what does that say about Kimberly Ferris’s decision to bring a child into this world with her? In fact, Debie and Kimberly separated during the pregnancy and it was Kimberely who begged Debie back using the unborn child to persuade her to return.

    I am assuming that you, Lorna Doone, are in AA. I would like you to show me someone in the program with over 10 years that hasn’t verbalized a 13th joke to a friend or two. If in fact Debie was a sex addict as you propose and that sexual addiction, or any addiction for that matter, deems a person “mentally ill” and unsuitable to parent a child then we’ve got a much larger problem on our hands in this country! Wow.

    In response to “Debie had another wife with another child in another city that she was still being intimate with right up till the end”: That is a positively FALSE statement. She absolutely did not have another wife or child anywhere! It is so out of left field I don’t even really know what to say other than, you obviously didn’t know Debie Hackett one bit.

    Debie, as well as the rest of the Hackett family, were crushed by the loss of the child. Can you possibly imagine how difficult explaining to your family that they will no longer have access to their grandson, nephew, and cousin after a year of bonding with their newest member. The confusion and sadness? The disappointment you feel that you have caused them?

    Debie will no longer be a “threat” to Kimberly who is now free to pick another partner for baby-making. And Hey Kim, dont forget that water rises to it’s own level.

  5. Mother January 19, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    Its unfortunate that this woman ended her own life. But, it’s not the bio Mom’s fault. She is a mother and knows what is best for her child. Obviously this woman was unstable. Luckily she didn’t have the child in her possession when she went off the deep end. Mom’s always know what’s best for their children. Sometimes that means removing people from their lives.

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporarary problem.

    • Another friend January 20, 2011 at 12:47 am #

      It is inaccurately assumed that mom’s always know what’s best for a child. In this case it was assumed that the bio-mom only knew what was best for the child. I can assure you that if mom’s actually did know what was best for the child there wouldn’t be so many mothers having their children taken away from them! The assumption that “Mom’s always know best for there children” is sadly just not true, at least not these days. I happen to work in an environment where CPS is often brought in due to overt neglect for a child’s well-being by bio-moms. Even these mom’s try to assert that they know best and rely on that assumption to gain access to their children once again to continue the initial abuse and neglect once again. Wake up, this is the real world folks.

      Now, having your child ripped away from you in the most finite way without just cause and not even given a chance to say goodbye, that would cause any mother be become “unstable”, no?

  6. Anonymous February 24, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    I am a non-bio mommie about to begin the legal process for legal visitation with my son. I was my child’s stay at home mom for nearly 4 years. My former partner has become uncooperative in my efforts to maintain my relationship with our child. My desire to be a part of my child’s life comes from love and profound connection. I wish my former partner every happiness but I will not walk away from my son who knows me as his mommie. This experience is heartbreaking and I certainly understand this woman’s desperation and struggle.

  7. Fast Lanne May 24, 2012 at 6:05 pm #

    Wow! I recently found out about Debie..I am very sad to hear this about her. I had not seen her in quite some time, but I she was one of my best friends 20+ years ago. We got sober together, attended the same AA group…she was always fun to hang out with. Over the course of many years that we were buds, I never knew her to be anything but sweet and carring. I never saw her 13th step anyone. I am straight, she was never inappropriate to me or anyone else that I saw. She was always willing to help others who called. She devoted her life, including her career, to helping other addicts/alcoholics personally and professionally to get sober. She was a beautiful spirit. I will miss her forever.

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