Ryan Miner: A Sincere Apology

17 Mar

I got this follow up message, via twitter, from Ryan Miner. I think it explains a lot. Reposted here in full.  In my humble opinion this is a great start.

A Lesson Learned But Never Forgotten:

If I could share only one lesson with college students ready to land that perfect job, remember the lesson of Ryan Miner. Who is Ryan Miner? Let’s do a Google search. Oh no. What was this guy thinking when he created that Facebook group and used the word subhuman to describe homosexual conduct? Who does this guy think he is? Does he still believe that homosexuals are subhuman? And good luck to him when he is trying to find a decent job.

My name is Ryan Miner. When I was a 19 year-old undergraduate student at Duquesne University I created a Facebook group in opposition to a proposal to allow a Gay-Straight Alliance to form on campus. I used the term subhuman to lament homosexuality. I could not have been more wrong. My words were unabashedly despicable and unambiguously insensitive. My actions were the antithesis of the same faith I used to defend myself, and it was an indelibly poor reflection on my personal character. I embarrassed my family, my friends, my hometown, and Duquesne University. I was in no position to cast such blatant judgment, and I pray that I can be forgiven and learn from this awful experience.

As a result of the media attention and the emerging technology of this decade, I am infinitely attached to my mistake in the annals of Google. The stories you read from the Google results paint a polar opposite picture of who I am today. However, actions inevitably and invariably have consequences, and the reckless comments I made at 19 continue to plague me in my professional career. I have been denied employment and was even terminated from a great opportunity as a result of the incident at Duquesne. I am now looking to expand my career, but each time I submit a new resume, a sense of bleak fear overcomes me, wondering whether or not a company will Google my name only to toss my resume in the trash and move to the next applicant. If only I could relay to a potential employer that my beliefs have changed and I would never engage in that type of behavior in the future. But you reap with you sow, and I will continue to deal with the consequences of my mistake.

Five years ago I was a different person. I saw life through a colorless lens. My heart was cold and my mind was closed, and the darkness I created consumed my life and those around me. I had to change. I had to open my heart and see the world and its people through a lens of love and compassion. So I decided to shut the door of darkness and walk towards the brightness of a new path. I may have been lost, but now I have found who I want to be. I want to be a better man.  The lessons that I learned at Duquesne and especially the lesson from President Obama’s speech to the nation in the aftermath of the tragic shootings in Tucson are this: I can be better. We as a nation can be better. And if our nation can raise above the culture that has defined the dialogue of our differences, then we can find the courage to change the world and set the example for the rest of mankind

So to all the college students who are just beginning to figure out what life is all about, remember to be thoughtful and vigilant with your words and deeds. Think before you act and speak.  If you believe in a cause then take a stand, but use your character to set the terms of discussion.  We can reject the divisions that divide us to the abyss of cultural chaos if we begin to replenish our spirit in one another.  I know how frustrating this path will be, and at times it may be difficult to see past our differences, but we can tear down the wall that separates us, and we can channel our disagreements through respect and still articulate the wisdom of our own principles. It is within the threshold of our generation that we are able to renew the call for civility and unite in what Dr. King called, “the  fierce urgency of now.” We can defy the status quo. We can transcend above the poison that tears us down, and we can elude the inability to recognize ourselves in others if we close the growing deficit that infects our discourse. We can define this moment, and together, united as one, we will usher in the next great chapter in our American narrative.

-Ryan R. Miner

Good on Ryan for unequivocally denouncing his earlier statements.  My call for him to put his words into action still stands. Here is a list of some great organizations to get started:

The Trevor Project

SMYAL

GLAAD

Freedom To Marry

Equality Pennsylvania

Equality Partners of Western Pennsylvania

One Response to “Ryan Miner: A Sincere Apology”

  1. Dylan Ingersoll Terreri January 30, 2013 at 7:43 am #

    i would like to address this letter to duquesne university, as well as other gay-affirming colleges (be them christian or public):

    after reading a letter that was posted on a few websites, ryan.miner.dylquesne.com and ryan.miner.shittsburgh.org and even ryan.miner.anti-gay.com, i feel that i have to make people aware. i feel that duquesne university should be ashamed of itself for succumbing to the “politically correct” version of our Lord. in short, ryan miner was correct to state his beliefs about homosexuality being “subhuman”. i would like to go one step further and say that homosexuality is for the developmentally disabled – for the “men” whose masculine esteem sees other men through the eyes of a little boy, for the “men” who don’t think highly enough of themselves AS men, for the “men” whose own masculine identity is slight enough to be compromised by the sight of any “real man,” from ryan reynolds to tim tebow.

    for whatever reason a “man” is apt to gawk at men and would regard the masculine body as some kind of “discovery zone,” whether he has grown up thinking of himself as a small masculine slight…whether he has grown up being labeled as a girl by the athletic boys (and his sister)…whether he has felt unworthy and uninvited enough to stray from the masculine majority, the fact remains: people shouldn’t let themselves be governed by their homosexual attraction. likewise, duquesne university shouldn’t be governed by the abundance of masculivoids on campus. the university should not change their stance on homosexuality just because college boys (and i stress “boys”) are a bunch of masculine ditzes suffering from gender-identity issues.

    there is so much gay porn on my computer, but the reason i don’t “hook-up” with anyone is because i think too highly of myself as a man. i don’t think highly of myself as a “male,” i don’t think highly of myself as a “guy,” i am a man and the reason that i don’t “hook-up” with gay males is because i am “let-down”. the act of sticking my hand down someone’s pants like a blind man looking for buried treasure, it just rubs me the wrong way. also, i feel shame for the naive masculivoid who is apt to bow down and lick my dick like he’s in total reverence, it’s just shameful – i would not be able to respect such a masculivoid, and that is why i haven’t been naked with anyone for years. i don’t care to see “men” who celebrate naked men with their eyes gaping open and with the biggest smile on their faces, sometimes i can’t even bear to watch porn, “men” who are in reverence of other men is just shameful. what man-worshipping DULLARDS.! i feel like cher in moonstruck: “snap out of it!”. let me quote nanny fine here: “you’re acting like you’ve never seen one before… you’ve got one, your father’s got one”.

    anyone who gets a boner from the sight of a naked man should not think he is relegated to a life of homosexuality. i regard “making love” as “making answers,” simply because of the curiosity that is satisfied with naked intimacy. curiosity is at the root of sexual attraction, and one develops curiosity about things as one lives and experiences things. nobody’s born with a curiosity of men or of the lesser gender, i had a line in a play called “barefoot in the park” that i would like to relate to sexual curiosity: “talent is something that must be cultivated”. curiosity is something that must be developed through one’s understanding that he has a lack of understanding.

    furthermore, i feel that if a man is justified in his own mind as a legitimate member of his own gender, he’s not going to be curious of his own gender. now, i may have a physical attraction to masculine images because i never felt like i compared to the masculine athletes i went to school with, but the presence of a physical attraction towards men doesn’t mean that i’d be happy to substitute masturbation with real sex. wasn’t it sheldon cooper who said that he is disgusted by his own bodily fluids, weren’t his words something like “why would i want to relish in anyone else’s?”

    i feel the same way about bodily fluids and about men in general…aside from football-extraordinaires tim tebow and matthew muchnok, of course.

    by embracing homosexuality, duquesne university (and any “christian” college) is disgracing God because gay-affirming universities are taking seriously the masculivoid who says “God did not make me man enough to fulfill my need for a man in my life”. there was a football player named josh lane who i went to high school with. he didn’t want to be around me because i was always putting his big and strong and hairy-chested existence on a pedestal – “you’re telling me that i’m the best, but i already know that – YOU have to be the best” is basically what he said to me. josh didn’t like the self-deprecation involved when a “man” finds the man of his dreams in somebody else – what makes anyone think that God would not be insulted by a “man” who is not all the man he needs? of course God would be insulted, He didn’t create men to feel half-baked (or incomplete) without another man acting as a crutch. kind of like what josh wanted for me, God doesn’t want his sons to be gay – God wants his sons to be happy enough to think highly enough of themselves AS men so that they don’t go kissing other mens’ asses (either sexually or figuratively in reverence). gay people are slighting God’s work by regarding themselves as incomplete without another member of their own gender.

    what’s next? is the college going to support assisted suicide (whether or not the “assisted suicide” is a matter of AIDS and masculivoid sex) – how long would it take for the college to support murder outright? why stop at homosexuality, the “christian” college should support every form of human depravity – from “men” who lack masculine gender-identity enough to want to justify themselves as masculine with help of a seeing-eye lover, to women who maintain that they can do anything a man can do while relishing in the university’s gender-based sports teams.

    here follows the letter from ryan.miner.anti-gay.com:

    to duquesne university, regarding ryan miner:

    listen, the next time you reprimand someone for disrespecting gay “men”…why don’t you reprimand gay “men” for disrespecting themselves with their whole “i’m not man enough to be my man” mentality. now, if you wanna believe there’s nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitably taboo in another one, it’s your loss…but don’t push your gay lack of esteem onto your students. gay “men” are so entertained when they have their hands on private parts of masculinity, it’s like they just bought it at some kind of curiosity shop.

    let me share with you a letter i wrote in response to chastity bono’s gender-dysfunction. maybe duquesne university will stop tolerating and promoting gender-dysfunction. here follows the letter:

    gender is reality. gender is as obvious an identifier as race is – changing one’s gender should be regarded as ludicrous an idea as changing one’s race (though michael jackson seemed to have done both). change your mind before you go to the extreme of changing your gender – it’s nothing but your mind that’s telling you that your body is a mistake. change your mind.

    homosexuality is gender-dysfunction. this should be realized. a national tolerance of gender-dysfunction is telling children that it’s okay to be mediocre. it was the summer of 1991 – hunterdon county, new jersey – i was going to see “terminator 2” with someone named josh lane – we never saw it because i was expressing my awe of his manliness and he was telling me to love myself and not to see him as the best but to become the best. i thought he was being intolerant, so i felt rejected and wanted to go home. i’d always felt mediocre, a small masculine slight, i wanted someone to accept me for it. i don’t know if i’d have gone to a “gay pride” parade if i had the chance, but that’s neither here nor there.

    now, whether her gender-curiosity is of the masculine gender or the feminine, if it’s being embraced by society that chastity bono got a sex change because she always thought that she had the wrong body, aren’t people admitting a gender-identity issue? it is an issue when one doesn’t feel like a female but is undeniably female. don’t people realize that such issues and feelings can only come into being once a person has been around other people long enough to have come to define themselves as a specific gender in relation to the world and genders around them? how do you know you have the wrong body if you haven’t been exposed to anything but your body? how do you know that there are two types of bodies? how do you come out of the womb with any information of the world when you’ve had no information to process while in the womb, as if a fetus is advanced enough to process information.

    i was in high school and josh was the epitome of the word “man”. i arrived at that conclusion through all the years i had lived, all the years i had regarded athletes as “real men,” all the years i felt outcasted from the masculine gender. i had never wanted a sex change, but i sure did not feel like a “real man” and i did not feel comfortable calling myself a man when all these better men were around. i swam with my shirt on, i didn’t feel man enough to take it off. i thought that tank-tops didn’t belong on me because i was skinny and weak. this probably has nothing to do with any self-discontentment i felt, but i was an actor in high school – happy and comfortable to become someone else.

    my lackluster sense of self complemented the lackluster specimen of manhood that i was, but maybe if i’d have gone to a “gay pride” parade then i would have been taught to be proud without having any justifiable reason to be proud of myself. if i learned how to love myself in spite of everything i wanted to change about myself, life would have been much easier and i wouldn’t have had to spend so much time lifting weights and improving myself.

    there is a quote i came up with before 1996, i tested it in 1996 on stevanne lusk who was behind a place called “the center for neuro-rehab” in annapolis. evita was playing at the mall during the time i was in annapolis and i loved musical theatre, in case you have any doubts of my being a legitimate homosexual after writing a letter like this.

    here’s the quote: “if you wanna believe there’s nothing detrimental to a masculine soul about finding security, fulfillment and something excitably taboo in another one, it’s your loss”

    i was humping the mattress yet again this morning – do you know the stuff that is in gay porn? “men” sniffing their own armpits , “men” sniffing others’ armpits, “men” with their faces wedged inside ass-cracks, “men” with their hands up someone’s rear-end – when i see stuff like this i picture all these question marks flying around the heads of the curious little masculine slights that simply know themselves as “gay”.

    “We shoulda known you question your manhood when we saw you jerking it like you just bought it at some curiosity shop,” from my first screenplay, andy’s beach, (c) 1996.

    why don’t boys who were “born straight” come out of mama’s vagina with a hard-on? on second thought, why did they even come out of mama’s vagina – they’re soon going to be trying to re-enter a vagina with either their fingers, tongues or dicks. one would think that being inside of a vagina would be paradise for a boy who was “born straight”. on second thought, maybe newborn boys don’t know anything about the world around them and maybe it’ll take years to gain enough knowledge of the world (and the genders) around them to regard the vagina as special and interesting.

    madonna’s “justify my love” was popular in late 1990, i remember it well – i was a junior in high school. paula abdul’s “opposites attract” was popular in early 1990, i remember it well – i was a sophomore. let me take a line from my aforementioned screenplay: ” i’m saying that opposites attract, be that man/woman, confident man/insecure man, or even half-the-woman/epitome of ‘woman’! ‘opposites’ is what you feel inside about yourself, it’s not strictly male or female on the outside! i’m jealous, therefore i lust! i’m jealous of your body like you’re jealous of saxy’s. i need a man in my life for the same reason you need a woman, i feel left out!”

    i therefore can understand how chastity bono came to the conclusion that she felt like she should be a man. it’s cross-eyed gender-dysfunction. josh told me to change myself so that i’d love myself, he was talking about my becoming the best instead of fawning over supreme masculine images. i guess one could argue that going to a doctor to change one’s gender is the same as going to a gym to change one’s musculature, which brings to mind another line from my screenplay: “It works for you, huh, treating your gender like its presence on your body is some big mistake?”. gender is reality – gender is as obvious as race is – changing one’s gender should be regarded as ludicrous an idea as changing one’s race (though michael jackson seemed to have done both). change your mind before you go to the extreme of changing your gender, it’s nothing but your mind that’s telling you that your body is a mistake.

    gender is self, gender is reality, the way anyone thinks or feels about themselves is arrived at by – let’s just say that i wouldn’t have felt like a masculine slight as a boy if i was not always picked last for teams in gym class. if girls were fawning over me rather than over athletes, i probably would have been a tad more self-confident. if i wasn’t only as strong as a girl, maybe i’d have had some masculine self-worth. maybe masculine self-worth is what josh was trying to give me when he told me to change myself to become the best. maybe masculine self-worth is why i enjoy gawking at images of “men” having sex as i’m humping my mattress, when the reality of having sex with anything but a masculine image keeps me from having sex with men.

    maybe the absence of self-respect and masculine self-worth that i felt as a boy would have done more than bring about a lust for men. maybe it would have led me to believe that i was not supposed to be male, that i was a female trapped in a male’s body. let me conclude by saying that before there is gender-reassignment surgery in anyone’s life, before anyone wants to do away with their gender, there is a certain degree of self-hatred. change your mind.

    dylan terreri, i
    sheldon cooper, ii
    ————————–
    “When I’m hungry, I eat. When I’m thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it.” – Madonna

    http://www.jaggedlittledyl.com/essays

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