When it comes to marriage, one of the final arguments of the anti-gay movement is “Why not civil unions?”
This week, Roger Gorley was visiting his husband’s bedside at Research Medical Center in Kansas City. When the ill man’s family demanded Roger be ejected from the room, Roger refused. He and his husband took part in a civil union ceremony 5 years ago and they also holds Power of Attorney for one another.
When the nurse was informed of this, she didn’t even bother going to look for the paperwork, she merely called security and had Roger removed from his partner’s bedside in handcuffs. Furthermore, the hospital has now taken out a restraining order keeping him from visiting his husband in the hospital.
The hospital released a statement which insinuates Roger was somehow putting people in danger or perhaps even reacting violently to being asked to leave his husband’s room.
“We believe involving the family is an important part of the patient care process. And, the patient’s needs are always our first priority. When anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients and staff. If the situation continues to escalate, we have no choice but to request police assistance.”
In 2010 President Obama mandated that any hospital that receives federal funding such as Medicare or Medicaid must allow visitation privileges for same-sex partners.
The fact of the matter is that not everyone knows what “civil union” means and this story is not isolated. For every story like this which makes it to the news, there are a dozen more for gay and lesbian couples who don’t have the resources to get their story out there. And in most states, if a story like that were to get out – someone could lose their job or be evicted from their home for being gay.
I live in Washington D.C. and I’m getting married in a month. If Sean were in the hospital and someone in his family were to try to make me leave, you can bet they’d have to arrest me too.
Talk About Equality 
The problem is that it is so random. Having been legally married to my husband in Connecticut in 2009 (we’ve been together since 1989) I was recently hospitalized in a Catholic hospital — also in Missouri. He had no problems with staff and doctors re:being with me and receiving information from them. At no point were we asked to produce any legal documentation. What is clear that we need an overall standard for all people and institutions to subscribe to, so that we know what we are getting into at these vulnerable times in our lives.
It is sad that the man was asked to leave the hospital because of his partner’s family. It would be nice if people could just get along for the sake of the sick person but how is this exclusive to gay people?
Clearly, this is more about the family not willing to accept the son’s sexuality, and not accepting his partner and their “lifestyle”. Was the ill partner awake? Was he powerless to stand up for his husband in the presense of his family? If he was awake and of sound mind, this is partially his fault for not standing to to family. Nevertheless, it is sad that the hospital took the side of the “family”.
Alan
Hi Jaime, I actually phoned the hospital administration and was able to speak with a rep. They gave me some additional information and expressed that some of the details being reported were inaccurate (arrest, restraining order, etc.), and I was wondering if you planned to do a formal press follow up on the story? I’m happy to share what I learned if that would be helpful. Either way, I hope Roger is by his loved one’s side today!
Heather, can you please drop me a line at talkaboutequality@gmail.com and let me know what you found out?
The man was an adult and his partner should have more rights than his family….he lived with him day in and day out….it isn’t like the man was under age and under control of his family. His family was WRONG for being like this.
those fuckers